(CNN) The feast for the eyes and favorably numbing on the brain, “Valerian as well as the City of a Thousand Planets” makes an earlier bid for worst movie from the year — or at least, the most over the top waste of money, given the magnificent trappings of this comic-book adaptation through French writer-director Luc Besson.
Set the half-millennium in the future, the movie stars Dane DeHaan as Valerian and Panduan Delevingne as Laureline, two wisecracking agents who spend the whole film engaging in painfully flirty banter — with him trying to convince the girl that he’s shed his womanizing ways and is ready for a commitment.
“This is going to be a thrilling time, ” Laureline deadpans as they go to a perilous situation, a bit of whining that proves prescient given below.
To be fair, the particular actors’ performances are largely drowned under the psychedelic mayhem surrounding all of them, but even so, it’s a photo complete in this setting regarding who has much less charisma or chemistry.
These fearless intergalactic cops work for the government, setting out a good ill-defined mission that brings all of them aboard the sprawling floating room station Alpha, home to previous denizens of the thousand planets because unwieldy title.
Although best known for fast-paced thrillers like “The Professional” and “Taken, ” Besson is no stranger in order to science fiction, including “The 5th Element” and the Scarlett Johansson automobile “Lucy. ”
The best sequence, not surprisingly because it turns out, comes at the outset, largely mainly because there’s no dialogue. A group of shimmering, modern aliens is presented on an Eden-like planet, only to have the sky open, raining down destruction from above.
From there, it’s away to meet Valerian and Laureline. Even though the plot does circle returning to that opening sequence, every distort is telegraphed so far in advance concerning be pretty obvious.
Clive Owen turns up since Alpha’s snarling commander, while Ethan Hawke appears, briefly, as exactly what might charitably be called a little businessman. Still, the cameo to finish all cameos comes from Rihanna like a burlesque performer — complete with ma?e pole — an appearance just as gratuitous as that noises, bringing the movie to a grinding stop.
Not that there are really much momentum to stop. As the look is vibrant and the style imaginative, Besson undermines the motion with the cheeky tone, which is not clever or funny but really does manage to rob the film of any kind of semblance of jeopardy. The result is definitely an exercise that simultaneously calls focus on how much the producers spent translation this vision to the screen and exactly what a colossal waste that appears like. (The Wall Street Journal pegged the budget
at $180 million, a record as an indie film. )
“Valerian” might be less herm